Funny Swimming Quotes

Funny swimming quotes for girls, boys and kids of all ages. Inspirational swimming quotesfrom famous swimmers and unknown authors for your T Shirt, Hope you'll enjoy our quotes collection.

The water is your friend. You don’t have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move.
- Aleksandr Popov

While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
- Henry C. Link 

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim.
- Russian Proverb

Swimming isn’t everything, winning is.
- Mark Spitz

Seventy-five percent of our planet is water - can you swim?
- Author Unknown

What goes around comes around, just like a flip turn.
- Author Unknown

If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.
- Bruce Lee

Swimming: From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. From the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.
- Author Unknown

Traveling to swimming meets took me beyond my small-town existence, gave me a hint of the exciting world outside of my own home.
- Esther Williams

Swimming - what real men do while boys play football.
- Author Unknown

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.
- Woodrow Wilson

Swimming is more than a once-every-four-years sport. My goal is to bring attention to swimming - to give it some personality.
- Michael Phelps

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.
- Jerome Fleishman

Swimming gave me my start, but my pal Tarzan did the real work. He set me up nicely.
- Johnny Weissmuller

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
- Edsger Dijkstra

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
- Jack Handy

Swimming upstream in the music business is a hard thing to do.
- John Oates

Nobody cared about swimming. You could draw a crowd for basketball.
- Merlin Olsen

Water for me is so essential, like swimming.
- Nastassja Kinski

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.
- Robert Collier

I love sailing and water sports; whether it’s water skiing, body boarding or surfing or simply swimming in the ocean.
- Karolina Kurkova

Swimming is : Being in a state of vertigo or dizziness; as, a swimming brain.

Success Quotes

Success Quotes Collection,  Sayings and Quotations about Success, For your frineds and loved ones, Hope you'll enjoy our Success Quotes.

Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. 

The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own. 

Success is largely a matter of holding on after others have let go. 

Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. 

Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it. 

The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others. 

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket. 

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. 

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be. 

The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. 

A great leader's courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position. 

Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat. 

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. 

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. 

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. 

Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve. 

Success doesn't come to you?you go to it. 

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. 

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. 

Success is not permanent. The same is also true of failure. 

When a man is willing and eager, the gods join in. 

Success is not a destination, it's a journey. 

To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.

Victory Quotes and Sayings

Huge Victory quotes with famous Victory quotations and notable phrases for you and your loved ones, Hope you'll enjoy our Victory Sayings collection.

Victory has a hundred fathers, but defeat is an orphan.
- Thomas Campbell

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment; full effort is full victory.
- Mahatma Gandhi

There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
- Michael Eyquen de Montaigne

The people who remained victorious were less like conquerors than conquered.
- St. Augustine

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
- Josh Billings

Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.
- Malcolm Forbes

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
- Abraham Lincoln

The most dangerous moment comes with victory.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
- Muhammad Ali

There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.
- Elie Wiesel

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
- Margaret Thatcher

But above all things truth is victor.
- Bible

Victory; a matter of staying power.
- Elbert Hubbard

The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious.
- Oswald Spengler

Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
- Bernadette Devlin

The secret of success is this: there is no secret of success.
- Elbert Hubbard

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.
- Red Sanders

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.
- Anonymous

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.
- Aristotle

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top.
- Napoleon Hill

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You have got to set your self on fire for it.
- Anonymous

I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think winning is the only thing.
- Bill Veeck

The god of victory is said to be one-handed, but peace gives victory on both sides.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A loser doesn’t know what he’ll do if he loses, but talks about what he’ll do if he wins, and a winner doesn’t talk about what he’ll do if he wins, but knows what he’ll do if he loses.
- Mario Puzo

Whether in chains or in laurels, liberty knows nothing but victories.
- Douglas Macarthur

Funny Women Quotes

Women quotes Collection Inspirational and motivational women's quotes by women for women. Hope you'll enjoy our funny quotes about women alot.

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

I hate women because they always know where things are.
by Malcolm de Chazal

Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.

A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women make me happy. Once accepting that i will never be able to understand them makes me more happier.

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them..

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Women sleep on the right side of the bed because even while sleeping they have to be right!

Men will spend 2 bucks on a 1 buck item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 buck on a 2 buck item that they don’t need at all.

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she changes it more often.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

Life Quotes

Great Life Quotes and life sayings for you friends, family and loved one, hope you'll enjoy our Life quotes collection!!!

Life is like walking through Paradise with peas in your shoes.

Life is for each man a solitary cell whose walls are mirrors.

Live on, survive, for the earth gives forth wonders. It may swallow your heart, but the wonders keep on coming. You stand before them bareheaded, shriven. What is expected of you is attention.

Life itself, too, is forever turning an infinitely vacant, dispiriting blank side towards man on which nothing appears, any more than it does on a blank canvas. But no matter how vacant and vain, how dead life may appear to be, the man of faith, of energy, of warmth, who knows something, will not be put off so easily.

Life is so complicated a game that the devices of skill are liable to be defeated at every turn by air-blown chances, incalculable as the descent of thistle-down.
To live is to war with trolls.

Brief and powerless is man's life; on him and all his race the slow, sure doom falls pitiless and dark.

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score.

Life is all memory except for the one present moment that goes by so quick you can hardly catch it going.
Like a petal in the wind
Flows softly by
As old lives are taken
New ones begin
A continual chain
Which lasts throughout eternity
Every life but a minute in time
But each of equal importance
Life is too short to blend in.

One Moment in Annihilation's Waste,
One Moment, of the Well of Life to taste--
The Stars are Setting and the Caravan
Starts for the Dawn of Nothing -- Oh, make haste!
I live in a room and I go to work and I play a game called getting through the day while you wait for the night.
You're pretending this isn't your life. You think it's going to happen some other time. When you're dead you'll realise you were alive now.
The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.

My mistakes are my life.

Life don't owe you nothing.

We've been told there's a certain way to live ... that this is living ... and we ... we never really questioned it. We just sort of went along. But what if it's not the best way? What if there's another way that's better? What if there's something more?!

The lives of people are like young trees in a forest. They are being choked by climbing vines. The vines are old thoughts and beliefs planted by dead men.

All of life is a foreign country.
It is in life as it is in ways, the shortest way is commonly the foulest, and surely the fairer way is not much about.

Each one of us must live the life God gives him; it cannot be shirked.
One word
Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
That word is love.
All our life passes in this way: we seek rest by struggling against certain obstacles, and once they are overcome, rest proves intolerable because of the boredom it produces.
How small a porton of our life it is that we really enjoy. In youth we are looking forward to things that are to come; in old age, we are looking backwards to things that are gone past; in manhood, although we appear indeed to be more occupied in things that are present, yet even that is too often absorbed in vague determinations to be vastly happy on some future day, when we have time.

In the chequered area of human experience the seasons are all mingled as in the golden age: fruit and blossom hang together; in the same moment the sickle is reaping and the seed is sprinkled; one tends the green cluster and another treads the wine-press. Nay, in each of our lives harvest and spring-time are continually one, until Death himself gathers us and sows us a new in his invisible fields.

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.

Football is a team game. So is life.

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life — It goes on.
So it is with all life. A tedium that includes the expectation of nothing but more tedium; a regret, right now, for the regret I'll have tomorrow for having felt regret today.

Life is one long process of getting tired.

The secret of the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment of existence is: to live dangerously!

Life is made up of marble and mud.

Life is hard. After all, it kills you!

You should live everyday like it's your birthday.

Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even its end.

There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive.

Life is a dream in the night, a fear among fears,
A naked runner lost in a storm of spears.
You're alive. That means you have infinite potential. You can do anything, make anything, dream anything. If you change the world, the world will change.
To what can one compare our life on earth?
To a flock of geese
Waddling about in the snow
Leaving a faint trace of their passage.
I have not wasted life, but life hath wasted me.
Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being.
The road is life.
Life packed a clever one-two punch: cruelty and absurdity.

Store well Life's sheaves, the grains of thought--
Your harvest will be good,
If sheaves are bound by ties of love,
And evil you've withstood.
Life is hard, but it's harder if you're stupid.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Living is a hazardous profession.

God is found in this Life ... to wait for another is folly.

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.

You must learn to deal with the odd and even in life, as well as in figures.
The essence of human experience lay not primarily in the peak experiences, the wedding days and triumphs which stood out in the memory like dates circled in red on old calendars, but, rather, in the unself-conscious flow of little things--the weekend afternoon with each member of the family engaged in his or her own pursuit, their crossings and connections casual, dialogues imminently forgettable, but the sum of such hours creating a synergy which was important and eternal

Do not take life too seriously--you will never get out of it alive.
Tact is not a small thing; in the battle of life it is more powerful than a bludgeon.
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
A life is black, whiten it as you will.
Life is a skeleton-land over which are hovering reflections, past and future fulfillments, clinging raiments of old desires, spread in full blaze upon the bones of the dead.
Mortal! that cull'st the flowers of life,
Think not to escape the thorn.
Life is more sweet than I
Knew: the shifted scene
Less wavered, more trimmed with light,
Than the years before.
Look down. People pass over the ice
As a file of thin ghosts creep,
And fade beyond the hill.
You, and you, and you--
Small souls, shrinking away.
The great river-courses which have shaped the lives of men have hardly changed; and those other streams, the life-currents that ebb and flow in human hearts, pulsate to the same great needs, the same great loves and terrors. As our thought follows close in the slow wake of the dawn, we are impressed with the broad sameness of the human lot, which never alters in the main headings of its history--hunger and labour, seed-time and harvest, love and death.
Life is a garden forever in flower.

Our lives are waves that come up out of the ocean of eternity, break upon the beach of earth, and lapse back to the ocean of eternity. Some are sunlit, some run in storm and rain; one is a quiet ripple, another is a thunderous breaker; and once in many centuries comes a great tidal wave that sweeps over a continent; but all go back to the sea and lie equally level there.

Life is a riddle we die in guessing.
Whatever may be our condition in life, it is better to lay hold of its advantages than to count its evils.
The fine art of Life is to make
Another Soul vibrate with a song of joy.
Stop and consider! life is but a day;
A fragile dew-drop on its perilous way
From a tree’s summit.
There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.
And if sometimes, commingled with life's wine,
We find the wormwood, and rebel and shrink,
Be sure a wiser hand than yours or mine
Pours out this potion for our lips to drink.
Some there are find joy in life,
And some that only bear it.
The shock, the power of an ordinary life. It is a thing you could not invent with banks of computers in a dust-free room.
Inch by inch. Life is a cinch. Yard by yard. Life is hard.
Life is the root of Eden's loftiest tree
Whose ripened fruit is immortality.
Life is but a prelude.

Water Quotes and Sayings

Water Quotes and Sayings funny Famous, Water is  the Hub of Life. Water is its mater and matrix, mother and medium. Water is the most extraordinary substance!

Water is elixir for life.

The great sea makes one a great sceptic.

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.

What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

The true peace of God begins at any spot a thousand miles from the nearest land.

Water is the only drink for a wise man.

Rivers are roads which move, and which carry us whither we desire to go.

The sea hath no king but God alone.

I hate water - fish fuck in it.

A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.

The sea has never been friendly to man. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness.

A lake is the landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is earth’s eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.  ~Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732

A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.  ~William Wordsworth

A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature.  It is earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.  ~Henry David Thoreau

The sea pronounces something, over and over, in a hoarse whisper; I cannot quite make it out.  ~Annie Dillard

The true peace of God begins at any spot a thousand miles from the nearest land.  ~Joseph Conrad

Never a ship sails out of the bay
But carries my heart as a stowaway.
~Roselle Mercier Montgomery, The Stowaway

Water flows uphill towards money.  ~Anonymous, saying in the American West, quoted by Ivan Doig in Marc Reisner, Cadillac Desert, 1986

I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man.  ~Henry David Thoreau

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.  ~Isak Dinesen

Filthy water cannot be washed.  ~African Proverb

Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war.  ~Loren Eiseley

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
~e.e. cummings

Most of us, I suppose, are a little nervous of the sea.  No matter what its smiles may be, we doubt its friendship.  ~H.M. Tomlinson

The only cure for seasickness is to sit on the shady side of an old brick church in the country.  ~Author Unknown

Though inland far we be,
Our souls have sight of that immortal sea
Which brought us hither.
~William Wordsworth, Intimations of Immortality

Ocean:  A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.  ~Ambrose Bierce

I find myself at the extremity of a long beach.  How gladly does the spirit leap forth, and suddenly enlarge its sense of being to the full extent of the broad, blue, sunny deep!  A greeting and a homage to the Sea!  I descend over its margin, and dip my hand into the wave that meets me, and bathe my brow.  That far-resounding roar is the Ocean's voice of welcome.  His salt breath brings a blessing along with it.  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, "Foot-prints on the Sea-shore"

The sea has never been friendly to man.  At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness.  ~Joseph Conrad

Praise the sea; on shore remain.  ~John Florio

Rivers are roads which move, and which carry us whither we desire to go.  ~Blaise Pascal

The great sea makes one a great sceptic.  ~Richard Jefferies

And thou, vast ocean! on whose awful face
Time's iron feet can print no ruin-trace.
~Robert Montgomery, The Omnipresence of the Deity

Why do we love the sea?  It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think.  ~Robert Henri
I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den.  It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free and ending just where it began.  ~William Hazlitt

There is nothing so desperately monotonous as the sea, and I no longer wonder at the cruelty of pirates.  ~James Russell Lowell

The lakes are something which you are unprepared for; they lie up so high, exposed to the light, and the forest is diminished to a fine fringe on their edges, with here and there a blue mountain, like amethyst jewels set around some jewel of the first water, - so anterior, so superior, to all the changes that are to take place on their shores, even now civil and refined, and fair as they can ever be.  ~Henry David Thoreau

What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

A person should go out on the water on a fine day to a small distance from a beautiful coast, if he would see Nature really smile.  Never does she look so delightful, as when the sun is brightly reflected by the water, while the waves are gently rippling, and the prospect receives life and animation from the glancing transit of an occasional row-boat, and the quieter motion of a few small vessels.  But the land must be well in sight; not only for its own sake, but because the immensity and awfulness of a mere sea-view would ill accord with the other parts of the glittering and joyous scene.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

There is indeed, perhaps, no better way to hold communion with the sea than sitting in the sun on the veranda of a fishermen's cafe.  ~Joseph W. Beach

He that will learn to pray, let him go to sea.  ~George Herbert

The sea hath no king but God alone.  ~Dante Gabriel Rossetti, The White Ship

Famous Wedding Quotes Sayings

Most Famous wedding quotes, Funny marriage sayings,  wedding humor and even more cool wedding related stuff. Feel free to use any of those for your memorable wedding toast, Enjoy our Quotes Collection 

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

In all of the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of plums.

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

She knows all about me and loves me just the same.

May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.

It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.

An anniversary says, "Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
Love is not singular except in syllable.

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved ~ George Sands

The proper basis for a marriage is mutual misunderstanding ~ Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot ~ author unknown

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry ~ Tom Mullen

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy ~ Gary Busey

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same -Oscar Wilde

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards -- Benjamin Franklin

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper ~ Scottish Proverb

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy ~Nietzsche

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman ~Joseph Joubert

Never strike your wife - even with a flower ~Hindu Proverb

Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper ~Scottish Proverb

Marriage is a wonderful institution ... but who wants to live in an institution? ~Groucho Marx

The surest way to be alone is to get married ~Gloria Steinem

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret -Henny Youngman

I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage -Mohandas Gandhi

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. ~Mickey Rooney

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble ~Raymond Hull

One should never know too precisely whom one has married ~Friedrich Nietzsche

The most dangerous food is wedding cake ~American Proverb

Never say marriage has more joy than pain ~ Euripedes Alcestis

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years ~ Sam Kinison

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why ~ Author Unknown

Marriage is like a pair of shears Oft times working in opposite directions, but punishing anyone that comes between them ~ Sydney Smith

If a man hears much that a woman says, she is not beautiful ~Haskins

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved ~Butler

Marrying means doing whatever possible to become repulsed of each other ~Arthur

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers ~Richard Pryor

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins ~Langdon Mitchel

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect behind her ~Ambrose Bierce, 1911

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of ~Mae West

Love is grand; divorce a hundred grand ~Author Unknown

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit ~Billy Connolly

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest ~Irwin Corey

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married ~Benjamin Disraeli

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce ~Groucho Marx

Marriage is the institution where the woman loses her the name and the man his solvency ~ Anonymous

Life is a bitch, and then you marry one ~Author Unknown

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck ~W. C. Fields

Marrying is all about just obtaining a piece of paper. Divorcing is just obtaining another ~Celeste Tan

A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself ~Du Bois

Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two ~Ambrose Bierce

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together ~James H. Boren

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent ~Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury ~Groucho Marx

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day ~Gene Perret

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same ~Oscar Wilde

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade ~Leo Buscaglia

A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers ~Author Unknown

In all of the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of plums -- Douglas Jerrold

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive ~ Oscar Wilde